Soul

Update

2009-04-17T08:03:00.003-05:00

Sent out 24 querey letters to the agents i got off the official WGA website. Sending more nexy month.

So far, i got one back, that said return to sender that had been opened and taped shut, lol, and one with a sticker, obviously made by their office that said address is inaccurate lol

Its ok. I am guessing thats the economical way of rejecting me lol
But, the opened one, HEY! someone read it!

i am headed for even more financial troubles in the coming months, and the economy tanking and everything becoming more expensive has put a huge crimp in my plan for registering all my screenplays and quereying. i had planned to have been far more in the progresion by now, its been 3 years since i started writing.

But, being poor, on a small disability check, sometimes its meds and food over doing those things.

So, its going slower.

my deep hope ws to be sold by now, bit, i also have kept a reality in knwoing it couild take a lor longer.

Query, Query Query! Finally!

2009-04-06T08:43:00.002-05:00

I have been dragging my butt on my letters to agents, i just don't think about it when i am sitting still to do it, it always comes to me when i am busy. Plus costs for supplies and postage sometimes i just cant squeeze out because of price of everything going up.

I got 24 letters done last night to query agents to rep me to sell a screenplay, and am super amped about it!

they are going out Tuesday.

Pray that someone wants it, because, i could live independently for 3 years on the minimum WGA sets for selling a screenplay, as long as i am careful,

Which is my ultimate goal.
To be completely self sustaining. Doing my passion to do it is all just thick and creamy gravy goodness

My first rejection letter!

2008-08-13T20:22:00.003-05:00

Ok most writers would be sad, however, i mailed my querys out, and i got some back, unopened, with various stamps on them, got two emails telling me they do not take material not via an agent, and thats all.

But, i got a very nice rejection letter telling me (with saccharin sweetness) that my project sounds very interesting, but, they are focusing on their own projects and do not feel they could give my project the time it deserves. lol

Why i am so happy over the rejection letter is it means someone actually paid attention to my querey...
BABY STEPS!

Query, Query, Query

2008-06-13T23:07:00.003-05:00

I send off my first query letters today, around 30.
so, i have finally started the whole querying process.
which me luck, pray for me, send positive vibes, whatever you believe in..

I can feel my creative engine warming up,
pistons firing,
and what not,
I will be writing something new very soon.

My process is kinda slow.
I get the spark.
my head kinda mulls it over for days or weeks, heck i have had one in my head for years.
and when i have a whole story, i sit down and write it, no stopping until i have the skeleton of it.

Then i go back over and over again, adding, removing, changing, until i am satisfied with it.
I have several in various stages of writing, i return to them when i have more ideas for those specific characters.

i have one that i am going to give the last once over on, and register it with WGA and start querying it at the end of this year or beginning of next year.

Let me give the synopsis of the current one i am querying.

"Love and Other Addictions"

It is a drama about a woman named Meghan, who is recently separated from her husband, Will, who cheated. She is struggling to support herself in a menial job, she is also struggling with a tendency to take a few too many pain pills.

However, she finds herself drawn back to her husband sexually, as she gradually lets her resistance down more and more, in small little steps, he does not give up trying to win her back, we see how they are essentially addicted to each other, but, all they really ever had was sex, not love or compatibility.

There are supporting characters, all with their own vices, both conventional and unconventional, Jake, Meghan's best friend, a co-dependent who thinks it is his job to take care of everyone, Jake's brother, Marc, a widower who languishes in his grief and self loathing for the circumstances of his loss, and Will, the husband, a struggling folk/rock musician who has his own addiction, alcoholism (as well as Meghan), which is what lead him down the road of infidelity in the first place.

In the end, Meghan finds real love in a surprising place. Some of the characters make a turn for the better, some for the worse.

it is a look at the human condition when we area addicted to that which is bad for us

Contest

2008-04-12T18:16:00.002-05:00

I went to the library and printed up all the stuff i need to enter my screenplay into this contest. got the stuff to send it off, i just have to fill the form out, punch holes and put the brads thru them and address the envelope.

I am so sicked!

Especially since i have had huge financial strain and stress due to alot of drama/trauma since last September.

So the query letters have been put of til late in the summer.

Wish me luck or pray for me to win!

WGA

2007-10-19T23:00:00.000-05:00

Got my little certificate showing i have "love and other addictions" registered.

i plan to start mailing query letters next month.

sloooooooow process... but, its at least moving forward, albeit at a painfully slow pace that frustrates me like mad lol

Registered my first screenplay today!!

2007-09-04T16:08:00.000-05:00

Finally!
I did the registry thing to protect it at the WGA website today

Its called love and other addictions. and its about a married couple who split over ones infidelity, but, are drawn to each other like an addiction.
It also has some secondary character with some addictions, both traditional and not.
but, essentially every character has some kind of addiction whether physical or psychological
and a big ol twist at the end!
I am excited.

One bad thing tho, i went to print query letters, i have been working thru my hollywood creative directory marking ppl i wanna query, and guess what, i am out of black ink lol
Oi vay!

no worries tho, i wasn't planning to take the mosey for postage til next month, and my aunt said she would flip me a new ink, since it is actually HER printer i am borrowing because mine went wiggie.

ONE MORE STEP to being a professional screenwriter!
YES!

Short Story (autobiographical)

2007-08-28T15:00:00.000-05:00

I don't remember when i first noticed i was different from other people.
But, it is a feeling I have carried with me as long as i can remember.
Where other kids were silly, giggly, light, all pastels and sugar, I was more dark, emotional, focused on heavy topics, and black.
I was creative, into art,. music, acting, singing, even photography at a very young age.
When i say art, i am not talking about crayon drawings of little houses with sunshine yellow balls in the sky.
Every box of crayons i owned, no matter the quantity of the box, my black crayon was worn down to a little nub, and, was usually the occasion to get a new box.
I would go out on my grandparents old wooden porch, and i would preform for no one or anyone who happened by in passing.
I sang, i danced, I played pretend, making plays off the top of my head.
I took my art easel outside, with my canvas and paints and painted in the front yard.
This was all when i was very small, like, really young for this kind of thing.
I also had a penchant for adding glitter to most of my works of art.
I swear, if they looked into my lungs there is still a ball of glitter in there, i inhaled so much in my feverish tossing of the stuff.
Glittery things still appeal to me, i get this sort of weird grin and am drawn to glittery things in stores, never mind that its cheap, tacky and ridiculous to buy at the age of 37.
I was a weird kid.
I was a weird Teenager too.
All brooding, writing poetry, drawing in sketch books, listening to music, staying up all night and sleeping all day, roaming the streets at night, and roaming in the woods alone in daylight drinking in natures beauty.
Always worrying about big political issues, when my peers at 14 and up were more concerned with sex, drugs, drinking, and pulling the wool over their parents eyes.
I am a weird adult.
I find myself still, even in my 30's, facing not being understood by peers.
I am still a freak, i am still into the art and the political worlds.
I am still me.
I have a personality that is hard for others to swallow.
I can be brutally honest. I do not believe in pretty lies over ugly truths, because, if the truth comes out, and it usually does, the pain is so much more than if you had just been honest to begin with.
I am direct. I am open.
I have an unbelievable lack of shame.
I will discuss anything, with anyone, at any time.
I love to be asked questions about myself, because i am infamous among the few friends i have and past acquaintances, for answering anything asked of me, regardless of how personal it may be.
It is fun to watch people try to shock me.
Even more fun to watch their faces turn red when i actually answer honestly.
However, the flip side of that coin is i sometimes volunteer more info than they want to know about me, and I also forget others have that deep rooted shame problem, and ask I will things freely.
Most people don't dig on that much.
My mother has always called me a free spirit.
It seems, most people are very uncomfortable with freedom.
Especially, when they see it in someone else and do not have it themselves.
So, i have few friends, well, one really, she and i have known each other since we were babies, and i have a few friends i talk with in email, who i don't see anymore from my childhood/teens.
I am often the pariah, the weird girl, the freak, regardless of the social setting.
I am often misunderstood to an annoying degree.
I live my life alone.
I have not had a date, kiss, boyfriend, or sex since 2003, when i left my abusive, cheating husband.
I took a three year sabbatical from men to work on myself
I wanted to get healthy in mind, body and soul before i ever considered even casually dating.
I lost so much of myself in my ex. In my marriage.
But, can you lose what you never knew or had to begin with?
So, I have found myself.
I am following my bliss.
Writing.
Screenplays specifically.
When i write, i feel alive, i feel so fucking amped up that i sometimes feel like the top of my head will blow off in a bloody mess.
Complete with fireworks.
Its a fire.
A passion.
it burns in my heart, in my belly.
I am more me than i have ever been when i write.
I am strong, confident, intelligent, and beautiful when i write.
Oddly, i did not start writing until 2006.
I had written some as a teen. But, at some point went into some very dark places and stopped anything creative.
I was broken like a doll left in the dirt, forgotten by its owner because it no longer was pretty.
i was broken for a very, very long time.
That is no more.
But, see, God, or serendipity, or whatever, stepped in.
It started so simply.
Music.
A Specific man, who both acts and does music.
I came across his music one day and started listening.
and...well...
FUCK ME!
It put a spark in my soul, in my heart, in my mind.
Some stranger.
A celebrity at that.
He gave me a gift, a life changing gift.
He did something no other human being had ever done.
He inspired me. He spoke to me. He touched me. He reached me.
He broke through all the walls, and armor, I had long had around me that had been a impenetrable fortress within.
He woke up a sleeping beast, a good beast mind you, and once unleashed.
I
Was
Alive.
So, I began to write, and i have not stopped writing since.
I am a new person.
The changes i have gone through, all for the good, in the last year.
Mind blowing.
No pyrotechnics. No blood. No gore.
Just beauty.
This guy, this stranger, he makes me feel less alone in the world.
A world that never wanted me, and never has wanted me.
And, not just because of the music, its the things he feels passionately about, the things he says, the things that matter to him, his experiences, heart, and mind are not so unlike my own in some ways.
I really relate to this guy.
It is a beautiful thing.
I am a beautiful thing.
For the first time I do not see myself as worthless, ugly and pathetic.
It amazes me how good things come from the most unexpected places.
I was not looking for inspiration, I was just trying to get healthy.
I had no direction about anything regarding a career or future.
I looked into my future and all i saw was a dark abyss, and me standing on the precipice.
Blind, naked, and alone.
So, I am going to be a screen writer, no ifs, ands or buts.
I know this, it is fact, as much fact as the sun rises and the sun sets.
Its in my soul.
Against the odds. I will do it.
I am just a simple southern woman, well, maybe to someone looking in from the outside.
Looks are deceiving.
What they can't see, however, is the strength of a survivor or both child and adult sexual abuse.
The child that was abused at home and then emotionally abused at school.
The girl that, for years cut herself to feel better.
The woman whose husband pointed a loaded shotgun at her head one night, saying "stop crying before i blow your fucking head off".
The woman that has suffered endless depression and anxiety.
The woman that spent ten years of her life just waiting to die.
The woman who has lost over 200 pounds.
The woman that has had far more than her fair share of major health problems and heartbreak.
The woman who is able to love unconditionally, not judge, and be empathetic to most anyone.
The woman who is strong. Who can not be beat down permanently.
The woman who will kick your ass if you try.
The woman with the spine of steel and a good, kind heart.
I guess, it just takes a closer look to see those things.
Most people don't bother.
But, being alone, it doesn't have to mean lonely.
Truthfully people can get on my nerves like mad, because i do not relate to them and they do not relate to me.
I prefer time with people who get me, get it.
They are few and far between.
But they do come along once in a blue moon.
I always know those people, my tribe, my people, from the first conversation.
The conversation makes me feel energized, and usually goes on for some amount of time.
Conversations with people i do not relate too suck me dry, like it is exhausting and sucking the very life from my bones.
I live for those good conversations.
They are my nourishment.
Those people, they feed me in a way no gourmet meal ever could.
They are far more delicious, words, good words from a good heart and sharp and creative mind.
Beautiful words dripping down over me slow like honey, quenching a hunger of the soul.
A hunger that aches within me everyday of my life that is lacking those conversations.
Almost as good as sex.
I call it sex for the mind. Sex for the intellect.
Mind blowing mindgasms.
The earth does indeed move.
Words are like a kiss if you think about it.
A soft movement of the lips, as the words flow down, being caressed by the tongue.
Filled with passion, with desire, with hope, with love.
Not everyone grasps the weight of words.
They can lift you to heaven and can throw you into the pits of hell.
they can exalt you and they can break you.
Words are power.
Words are life blood.
Am i taking words too seriously?
Well.... I guess, being a natural born writer.......
Word are my thing.

hollywood creative directory

2007-08-19T09:39:00.000-05:00

I got my Hollywood creative directory a couple days ago.
Its the summer 2006 edition, i can't afford the current one.
But, even a year old, its still pretty current.
So, since i haven't gotten my first screenplay registered with WGA (http://www.wgaeast.org/ ) yet, i (am doing my first one next month.)

I have to slowly register and query because i am poor, i live on a $623 disability check right now.
So even $22 is hard to come up with to register one.
not to mention supplies, printing, and postage.
I do have a link on the left, the impoverished girl fund, if you would like to help me in my pursuit of a writing career, click it and donate.

So, I have been looking through the book, marking companies i want to query.
I was very happy to see some take emails, in fact, some ONLY take emails.

I am so amped up about writing.
when i started writing last year, it is like i found what God built me to do.
Found my bliss.
Found my way in life.
Found ME.

I had wanted to be a writer when i was young, but, was creatively constipated for most of my life.
The inspiration was there, but, i just couldn't get it down on paper.

I was also very lost all my life with no direction, and no desire to do anything for a living, nothing appealed to me, and in fact, make me feel very depressed considering anything.

I was a creative teen/kid.
But,I had alot of bad stuff go down in my life, and i locked it away.

Last year i accidentally came across some music by the actor James Marsters.
It is simple music, not extraordinary in any way really,
But, for some reason it felt like home, it kinda just crept into my heart and felt so comfortable.

I related to the things he wrote about.
I liked how he wrote it.

and suddenly this idea for a movie that was just, like a small shadow, began to bloom while i listened to his music, plot and character development just started rushing into my mind and i began to write.

Writing changed me profoundly.

I am not the same person i was before i started writing.

i am a whole nother animal.
a better one.
More me.
more comfy in my own skin.
and, i found my way in life, i am not lost anymore, i have direction

writing is my destiny.
its not a feeling of IF i can sell scripts, its so much the feeling of when.

i love feeling that confident, because, i pretty much never feel confident in my gut about anything i don't end up succeeding at.

-H

Hello!

2007-08-15T23:13:00.001-05:00

I am starting this blog to write about my screenwriting, and all things related to it, including my hopes, feelings, frustrations and tiny little baby steps.

Enjoy the queen of TMI's rambling, lol

HeatherLinn